9.2.1 Self-disclosure

Self-Disclosure in Relationships

Importance: Self-disclosure is a crucial factor in the development of relationships. Greater self-disclosure often leads to increased feelings of intimacy and stronger connections between individuals.

Preferences: People tend to prefer those who disclose intimate details and are more likely to share personal information with those they like.

Social Penetration Theory

Development of Relationships:

• Theory by Altman and Dalmas: This theory describes how relationships develop through a gradual process of revealing one's inner self to another, sharing deeper thoughts and feelings over time.
• Reciprocal Exchange: The exchange of personal information between partners is reciprocal; as one partner discloses, the other must also share private information to build trust and deepen the relationship.
• Deepening Intimacy: As partners share more about themselves, they penetrate deeper into each other's lives, leading to a greater understanding and a stronger bond.

Breadth & Depth of Self-Disclosure

Two Key Elements:

1. Breadth: At the beginning of a relationship, individuals typically share a wide range of superficial information, with many topics off-limits. This is known as low-risk disclosure.
2. Depth: As the relationship develops, self-disclosure becomes deeper, with individuals revealing more intimate, high-risk information, such as personal beliefs, painful memories, and secrets. Influences on Self-Disclosure:

Appropriateness: The timing and context of self-disclosure are crucial. For instance, sharing deeply personal information too early, such as on a first date, can be seen as inappropriate and may indicate a lack of social skills.

Attribution: The reasons behind the self-disclosure matter. If someone is perceived as sharing personal information with everyone, it is less attractive. However, if they are seen as sharing specifically with one person, it increases attraction.

Gender Differences: Women are generally seen as better communicators and more interested in intimate information. Male self-disclosure can be viewed as particularly rewarding by women, but men may feel threatened by intimate disclosures from women.

Content: While intimate disclosures are generally positive, sharing highly personal information too soon can violate social norms and reduce attraction, especially in the early stages of a relationship.

Evaluation

Support for Self-Disclosure in Relationships

Sprecher and Hendrick's Research:

• Point: Evidence supports the idea that self-disclosure influences attraction in romantic relationships.

• Evidence: Sprecher and Hendrick found strong correlations between self-disclosure and relationship satisfaction in heterosexual dating couples.

• Conclusion: This suggests that the more partners disclose to each other, the greater their feelings of intimacy and attraction, leading to higher relationship satisfaction. Laurenceau's Study:

• Point: Further evidence supports the link between self-disclosure and relationship intimacy.

• Evidence: Laurenceau's study, which involved daily diary entries, found that self-disclosure and the perception of it in a partner were associated with higher intimacy in long-term married couples.

• Conclusion: This supports the idea that deeper self-disclosure correlates with greater relationship satisfaction, reinforcing the importance of reciprocal disclosure.

Real-Life Applications

Improving Communication in Relationships:

• Point: Self-disclosure can be deliberately used to strengthen relationships.
• Evidence: Hass & Stafford found that 57% of gay men and women in their study used open and honest self-disclosure to maintain and deepen their relationships.
• Conclusion: This real-life application highlights the value of self-disclosure in improving relationships, suggesting that learning to self-disclose could save or enhance relationships.

Cultural Differences in Self-Disclosure

Tang et al.'s Findings:

• Point: Self-disclosure does not have the same impact across all cultures.
• Evidence: Tang et al. found that while sexual self-disclosure is accepted in individualist cultures, it is seen as taboo in collectivist cultures.
• Conclusion: This suggests that self-disclosure is a limited explanation of romantic relationships, as it may not apply universally across different cultural contexts.

Critique from Duck's Theory of Relationship Breakdown

Contradictory Evidence:

• Point: Duck's theory of relationship breakdown challenges the idea that self-disclosure always leads to greater intimacy and relationship satisfaction.
• Evidence: While Social Penetration Theory suggests relationships deepen as self-disclosure increases, Duck argues that relationship breakdown often involves deep self-disclosures, yet these do not prevent the relationship from deteriorating.
• Conclusion: This is a limitation of the self-disclosure theory, as it suggests that even when partners share deeply personal information, it may not be enough to save a failing relationship.