A Valediction Forbidding Mourning

Context

• A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning was written by John Donne in 1611 as a farewell to his wife, Anne More, before leaving on a diplomatic mission. The poem reflects Donne's metaphysical style, intertwining emotional depth with intellectual rigour.
• The title suggests a forbidding of outward expressions of grief at parting, emphasizing the strength of a spiritual connection that transcends physical separation.

Structure and Form

Form, Meter, and Rhyme

• The poem is composed of nine quatrains, making a total of 36 lines.
• It follows a consistent ABAB rhyme scheme, contributing to the poem's harmonious and balanced tone.
• The meter is primarily an iambic tetrameter, with some deviations that enhance the poem's emotional and rhetorical impact. For example, the opening line, "As virtuous men pass mildly away," contains subtle variations that mirror the gentle passing described.

Speaker and Setting

• The speaker is a lover, often interpreted as Donne himself, addressing his wife before a separation. The speaker seeks to reassure his lover, arguing that their love is strong enough to withstand physical distance.
• The setting is abstract, existing in the speaker's mind as he contemplates the nature of their love. The poem does not describe a physical location but moves through various metaphysical concepts, such as the comparison to concentric spheres and the drawing compass.

Poetic Devices

Conceit:

• The most famous conceit in the poem is the comparison of the lovers' souls to the two legs of a compass, where one leg remains fixed while the other moves, illustrating how their souls remain connected despite physical distance.
• "If they be two, they are two so / As stiff twin compasses are two;" demonstrates this extended metaphor.

Metaphor:

• The poem uses various metaphors to emphasize the refined nature of the lovers' bond, such as comparing their souls to gold that can be stretched without breaking.
• The line, "Like gold to airy thinness beat," illustrates the idea that their love, though stretched by separation, remains unbroken.

Hyperbole:

• Donne uses hyperbole to mock ordinary lovers who express their grief in exaggerated ways, contrasting them with the restrained and dignified parting he advocates.
• The phrases "tear-floods" and "sigh-tempests" exemplify this, emphasizing the absurdity of excessive emotional displays.

Personification:

• The compass metaphor includes personification, where the fixed leg of the compass "leans and hearkens after" the moving leg, symbolizing the lover's emotional response to separation.
• The line, "It leans and hearkens after it," captures the idea of the lover yearning for the speaker's return.

Key Themes

Spiritual vs. Physical Love

• The poem contrasts spiritual love, which transcends physical presence, with physical love, which is dependent on proximity.
• Donne writes, "Our two souls therefore, which are one," suggesting that their spiritual connection is so profound that physical separation is irrelevant.

The Endurance of Love

• Donne argues that true love is enduring and unbreakable, capable of stretching over distances like gold beaten thin.
• The metaphor, "Like gold to airy thinness beat," conveys the idea that their love can expand and remain intact.

The Futility of Public Mourning

• The speaker rejects the idea of public displays of grief, arguing that such mourning would profane their private love, which is too sacred to be shared with the outside world.
  • He asserts, "'Twere profanation of our joys / To tell the laity our love," highlighting the importance of keeping their love private.

Similar Poems

• "The Good Morrow": This poem explores the theme of a deep, unified love that transcends physical boundaries, similar to the spiritual connection described in A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning.
• "A Valediction of Weeping": This poem also addresses the pain of parting, but with a focus on the expression of grief, contrasting with the restraint advocated in A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning.
• "The Ecstasy": Like A Valediction, this poem delves into the relationship between the physical and spiritual aspects of love, presenting a union that goes beyond mere physical presence.

Line by Line Analysis

Stanza 1

As virtuous men pass mildly away,

And whisper to their souls to go,

Whilst some of their sad friends do say

The breath goes now, and some say, No:

"As virtuous men pass mildly away, / And whisper to their souls to go,"

• The speaker compares his parting with his lover to the quiet and peaceful death of "virtuous men".
• These men "whisper" to their souls, gently accepting death, suggesting that the lovers should part with similar calmness and acceptance.

"Whilst some of their sad friends do say / The breath goes now, and some say, No:"

• The speaker highlights the imperceptibility of these men's passing, where even their friends are unsure if they have died.
• This subtle and almost unnoticed departure serves as a model for how the lovers should separate, without dramatic displays of grief.

Stanza 2

So let us melt, and make no noise,

No tear-floods, nor sigh-tempests move;

'Twere profanation of our joys

To tell the laity our love.

"So let us melt, and make no noise,"

• The speaker suggests that their parting should be as gentle and quiet as melting, avoiding any outward signs of distress.
• The metaphor of melting conveys a soft, natural dissolution of their physical presence together.

"No tear-floods, nor sigh-tempests move;"

• He advises against showing excessive emotion, likening tears to floods and sighs to tempests, both hyperbolic expressions of grief.
• This imagery criticises the overdramatic displays of ordinary lovers, emphasizing the maturity of their love.

"'Twere profanation of our joys / To tell the laity our love."

• The speaker believes that public displays of grief would "profane" or cheapen their sacred bond by exposing it to the uncomprehending "laity".
• The use of religious language ("profanation," "laity") elevates their love to something holy and beyond the understanding of ordinary people.

Stanza 3

Moving of th' earth brings harms and fears,

Men reckon what it did, and meant;

But trepidation of the spheres,

Though greater far, is innocent.

"Moving of th' earth brings harms and fears, / Men reckon what it did, and meant;"

• The speaker contrasts earthly disturbances, such as earthquakes, with their noticeable effects that cause fear and speculation.
• This metaphor implies that ordinary love, like an earthquake, is disruptive and alarming to those involved.

"But trepidation of the spheres, / Though greater far, is innocent."

• He compares their love to the "trepidation of the spheres", a cosmic movement that is far more significant yet goes unnoticed by most people.
• This distinction between earthly and heavenly movements emphasizes the spiritual nature of their love, which is profound but does not need to be publicly displayed.

Stanza 4

Dull sublunary lovers' love

(Whose soul is sense) cannot admit

Absence, because it doth remove

Those things which elemented it.

"Dull sublunary lovers' love / (Whose soul is sense) cannot admit"

• The speaker criticizes "sublunary" or earthly lovers, whose love is based on physical senses and therefore is "dull" and mundane.
• He contrasts this with their refined love, which transcends the physical.

"Absence, because it doth remove / Those things which elemented it."

• Such physical love cannot withstand absence, as it relies on sensory experiences that are lost when the lovers are apart.
• This line emphasizes the transient and fragile nature of purely physical love, which disintegrates without physical presence.

Stanza 5

But we by a love so much refined,

That our selves know not what it is,

Inter-assured of the mind,

Care less, eyes, lips, and hands to miss.

"But we by a love so much refined, / That our selves know not what it is,"

• The speaker describes their love as "so much refined" that even they cannot fully comprehend its nature.
• This suggests a love that is deeply spiritual and abstract, beyond ordinary understanding.

"Inter-assured of the mind, / Care less, eyes, lips, and hands to miss."

• Their love is "inter-assured of the mind", meaning it is based on mutual intellectual and spiritual certainty, not dependent on physical presence.
• Because of this deep connection, they do not overly miss the physical aspects of each other, such as "eyes, lips, and hands," when apart.

Stanza 6

Our two souls therefore, which are one,

Though I must go, endure not yet

A breach, but an expansion,

Like gold to airy thinness beat.

"Our two souls therefore, which are one, / Though I must go, endure not yet / A breach, but an expansion,"

• The speaker emphasizes the unity of their souls, stating that even though they must part physically, their separation is not a "breach" but rather an "expansion".
• This idea suggests that their love is not broken by distance but instead grows and expands to fill the space between them.
• The metaphor of "expansion" challenges the notion that physical distance weakens love, proposing instead that true love can stretch and grow stronger.

"Like gold to airy thinness beat."

• The speaker compares their love to gold, which can be hammered into a thin, expansive sheet without breaking.
• This simile implies that their love, like gold, is both malleable and enduring, capable of stretching without losing its essence.
• The image of gold also conveys the precious nature of their relationship.

Stanza 7

If they be two, they are two so

As stiff twin compasses are two;

Thy soul, the fixed foot, makes no show

To move, but doth, if the other do.

"If they be two, they are two so / As stiff twin compasses are two;"

• The speaker continues the imagery of unity by comparing their souls to the two legs of a compass.
• Although the legs of a compass are two distinct entities, they are connected and move in harmony, just as the speaker and his lover are separate yet united.

"Thy soul, the fixed foot, makes no show / To move, but doth, if the other do."

• The speaker describes his lover's soul as the "fixed foot" of the compass, which appears stationary but moves in response to the other leg's movement.
• This suggests that even though the lover stays behind, she is emotionally connected to the speaker, mirroring his movements and remaining aligned with him despite the distance.

Stanza 8

And though it in the center sit,

Yet when the other far doth roam,

It leans and hearkens after it,

And grows erect, as that comes home.

"And though it in the center sit, / Yet when the other far doth roam,"

• The speaker notes that the fixed foot of the compass stays in the centre, while the other foot moves far away, symbolizing his journey away from his lover.
• This reflects the physical separation between the speaker and his lover, where one remains stationary while the other moves.

"It leans and hearkens after it, / And grows erect, as that comes home."

• The speaker describes how the fixed foot "leans" and "hearkens" after the moving foot, illustrating how the lover remains emotionally attentive and connected to him.
• When the moving foot returns, the fixed foot "grows erect", symbolizing the reunion and the return to a perfect, stable connection.
• This metaphor underscores the strength and resilience of their bond, which remains unbroken despite physical separation.

Stanza 9

Such wilt thou be to me, who must,

Like th' other foot, obliquely run;

Thy firmness makes my circle just,

And makes me end where I begun.

"Such wilt thou be to me, who must, / Like th' other foot, obliquely run;"

• The speaker compares his lover to the fixed foot of the compass, while he is the other foot that must "obliquely run", or travel far away.
• This imagery reinforces the idea of the speaker's journey and the lover's steadfastness, symbolizing their interconnectedness even when apart.

"Thy firmness makes my circle just, / And makes me end where I begun."

• The speaker concludes that his lover's "firmness" ensures that his journey, like the path of a compass, will be perfect and complete.
• The phrase "end where I begun" suggests that despite his travels, he will always return to her, completing the circle and reaffirming their unbroken bond.