My Mother Said I Never Should: Themes

Key Themes in My Mother Said I Never Should

1. Motherhood and Generational Conflict
2. Social Change and Gender Roles
3. Secrets and Lies
4. Identity and Independence

Motherhood and Generational Conflict

The central theme of My Mother Said I Never Should revolves around the complex and often strained relationships between mothers and daughters across four generations. The play explores how motherhood shapes these women's lives and how the expectations and experiences of each generation influence the next.

Key examples:

5. Doris and Margaret: Doris, born in 1900, represents a traditional view of motherhood where duty and sacrifice are paramount. Her relationship with Margaret is marked by tension as Margaret struggles to meet her mother's high expectations while also seeking to assert her own identity. This conflict reflects the broader theme of how societal expectations of motherhood can create friction between generations.
6. Margaret and Jackie: The relationship between Margaret and Jackie highlights the changing attitudes toward motherhood. Jackie's decision to pursue a career and have a child out of wedlock challenges Margaret's more conventional values. The strain between them symbolises the generational shift in how women view their roles as mothers and the choices available to them.

Social Change and Gender Roles

The play spans much of the 20th century, a time of significant social change, particularly regarding gender roles. My Mother Said I Never Should examine how these changes affect the four women and their relationships with each other.

Key examples:

7. Doris's Sacrifice: Doris gives up her career to fulfil the traditional role of wife and mother, reflecting the limited options available to women in the early 20th century. Her choices highlight the constraints placed on women by society and the personal sacrifices they were often expected to make.
8. Jackie's Independence: In contrast to Doris, Jackie embodies the new possibilities for women in the 1960s and beyond. Her decision to have a child without a husband and pursue a career symbolises the shifting gender roles and the increasing importance of female independence. However, her struggle to balance these roles also illustrates the challenges that come with breaking away from traditional expectations.

Secrets and Lies

The theme of secrets and lies is central to the plot of My Mother Said I Never Should. The play explores the consequences of hidden truths and the impact they have on family relationships, particularly across generations.

Key examples:

9. Jackie's Secret: Jackie's decision to let her mother, Margaret, raise her daughter Rosie as her own is the play's most significant secret. This lie, meant to protect Rosie and preserve the family's reputation, ultimately creates tension and feelings of betrayal when the truth is revealed. It illustrates how secrets, even those kept with good intentions, can have long-lasting and damaging effects.
10. Rosie's Discovery: When Rosie discovers the truth about her parentage, it disrupts her sense of identity and her relationships with both Margaret and Jackie. The revelation of this secret forces each character to confront the lies they have lived with, symbolising the destructive power of deception within families.

Identity and Independence

The search for identity and the struggle for independence are key themes in My Mother Said I Never Should. The play examines how each woman navigates her own path in life, often in conflict with the expectations of her family and society.

Key examples:

11. Jackie's Artistic Pursuits: Jackie's passion for art and her desire to pursue a career reflect her quest for identity beyond the traditional roles of wife and mother. Her struggle to balance her artistic ambitions with the responsibilities of motherhood symbolises the broader challenge of maintaining personal independence in the face of societal and familial pressures.
12. Rosie's Choices: As the youngest character, Rosie's journey to independence is shaped by the secrets and expectations of her family. Her decision to live with her great-grandmother, Doris, rather than her biological mother, Jackie, represents her attempt to forge her own identity amidst the complex family dynamics. Rosie's story highlights the importance of self-determination and the challenges of breaking free from the legacies of previous generations.