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Alright, buckle up for a wild ride through Cáca Milis—a story that starts off like a nice train journey but takes a seriously dark turn.
We start with a train pulling into Rosslare Station, where Catherine and her nervous, anxious mother are waiting. Catherine, being not-so-nice, is already in a bad mood. Her poor mum needs a wheelchair and a lot of care, but Catherine's had enough. She dumps her with Nóra, the nurse, and hops on the train, clearly hoping for a bit of peace and quiet. But peaceful? Oh, no. Enter Paul.
Paul is blind, and, just to make things extra interesting, he's got asthma. Not just the mild kind, but the "I'm-gasping-for-breath" kind. He stumbles onto the train with his walking stick and a paper bag with, of all things, a cake inside. He bumps into Catherine, and she's already giving him the "I'd rather you didn't exist" look. Paul, on the other hand, is full of joy. He's off to his mum's caravan for a holiday, and lucky Catherine gets to hear all about it because he sits right next to her. Yep, out of all the empty seats on the train, he picks hers. Typical.
Next up, Paul decides to show off his knowledge of the train's scenery. He may be blind, but he's memorised what's outside: a bay and a river. He's pretty proud of himself, but Catherine's had enough. So, she decides to mess with him. Instead of confirming his description, she calmly tells him, "Oh no, there's a big lake and some boats out there." Cue Paul panicking—he reaches for his inhaler like it's a lifeline. Which, well, it kind of is.
The coffee finally arrives, and Paul asks Catherine to help him put sugar in it. What does Catherine do? Absolutely nothing. She watches as Paul awkwardly eats his cake, slurps his coffee, and offers her a slice, which she politely declines (with her usual disgusted expression, of course).
Paul starts talking. And talking. And talking. He's got no idea Catherine would rather disappear into her romance novel. He pulls out the cake and gets excited about a cup of coffee. Naturally, he asks Catherine to grab it for him. Her response? Absolutely not—she's not here to be anyone's waitress. Meanwhile, Paul proudly brags about being on the radio because of his asthma. Catherine's clearly impressed. Just kidding—she couldn't care less.
And just when you think it couldn't get worse, Catherine goes in for the kill—figuratively, at first. She tells Paul there's a worm in his cake. A pink one. And yep, it looks like Paul's already eaten part of it. Paul, naturally, freaks out, his breathing gets worse, and now he's on a full-on search for his inhaler. Catherine? She's having the time of her life, moving the inhaler just out of reach, watching poor Paul struggle for air.
Then, boom—Paul collapses, completely out of breath. Catherine, in full villain mode, just stares at him, cold as ice, while he gasps for his life. And when Paul finally dies, what does she do? She stands up, casually puts the inhaler back on the table (like it's no big deal), and walks off the train like nothing happened.
So, what starts as a peaceful train ride with some light conversation ends in one of the most cold-blooded moments you'll ever see. Cáca Milis might be a tale of cake, coffee, and casual cruelty, but it's also a darkly funny reminder that you never really know who you're sitting next to on a train!
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